Heart broken.

Hellooo guy! It's a long time since I have wrote on this blog .
Do u guys know . I have become a father already . Fast rite? I know u all will jealous about it . HAHAHA!!! It's so hard broken whenever u say I have lied to u when I really never . I'm innocent . I did nth wrong . My heart was like there is a knife stab into my heart . I really did nth wrong . I jus wanted a simple couple life . I dun quarrel. Hais .

心碎的声音听不到.

Hi . Sudden urge of blogging after reading back all the post you used to blog for me. After some time being together , we been together for 1 year & 7 months already uh? HAHAHA . Time passéd so fast and this month gonna be our 1 year & 8 month being together but why do I feel so empty ? You said you didn't know how to sweet talk or post long message and stuff to me but you used* to , ohya I mean really used to . You could blog for me , write for me , call me just to tell me I love you but why did you stopped doing it . Because we been together for long and there isn't any needs to do so anymore , because you been seeing me everyday as we are staying together so things started fading and changing , because you are tired of showing me how much you loved me and how much you cared ? Our first quarrel became something normal these day , crying alone waiting for you to come and just hug me for a moment became a daily routine . Worse still you can't even be bother with me at times . I don't want you to fall asleep before I sleep but do you know why ? I tend to think a lot during night or even during the day. I don't want to feel alone , I want you to stay beside me , watching me to let me feel secure. You remember the first time you promised me you will never leave me alone crying when we were just together for 2montha + . Remember the first time I shouted and cried like a mad dog because of celena ? The very first time I showed you attitude and ya that happened to be the first time you told me not to be crazy . Remember the first time you shouted at me ? Telling me you had enough for me ? @ marina square . Can you feel how heartbroken was I back then ? Everything started changing as time pass , augments became our daily routine , memories fading , love and care getting lesser . It been a long time since I really laughed really smile because I'm happy . Yes all along I been showing that I'm happy but you know what ? I'm not , I couldn't find back the smile I used to have anymore . Be it how much I try , how much I smile I know things have changed , you changed , our love changed , I changed . Remember the first time you promised not to leave me alone because of maxtune ? Remember the first time you thrown away your cards for me & you told me you want me to stay ? Broken promises* The longer we get together the more often i use to sit beside you spending hours watching you playing maxtune . Do you know I been crying all day long , every single night , every single quarrel . How much my heart hurt whenever I say those harsh words to you ? But that's the only way I left to protect myself , I'm selfish . I'm tired I don't want to get myself hurt anymore that's why I choose to hurt you with my words than remaining silent but that doesn't help , it still break my heart like hell . You know I'm so afraid of you leaving some day ? Because I know you will . Take it as I'm assuming but that's how you showed me . I asked you to leave , to go back to your place , I say that I don't want to see you anymore but do you know each time i said that I'm so afraid of you being serious of what I say and leave . Whenever you hug me and I pushed you away , do you know actually I just wanted to protect myself by letting you feel that I don't need anyone to pity me and the moment you let go , how fucking down I'm ? I'm feel so unstable with you , so insecure , I have so much to say yet I know you wouldn't understand . I'm unreasonable , I aren't understanding , I know you been tolerating all along . I'm sorry for all the things I did to hurt you. I know I obviously got no right to request anything from you & I don't deserve you and the things you did for me . If I could choose again , I would leave 1 year & 7 months back , I wouldn't talk to you not because I regret but because I know we wouldn't come to this state now. I know you won't bother reading this post or maybe you won't even know this post existed so let's all not bother . I just wanna make myself feel better that's all.

Day by Day Have Pass, My Jealousy For You Have Become Higher And Higher.

Hellooo Guys, I'm back to blog due to my sillybaby wanna see and called me to update! (Y) For pass few day i have quarrel with baby due to my jealousy is getting higher and higher. sorry baby, i know you dun like jealousy high person but i need to tell you this. i have never ever know that my jealousy can be to my extend. due to my love for you is getting deeper and deeper. do you know even you go out with guys or talk to guy i will also jealous? is because i scare one day baby will find out i'm not good enough. i dun wan to quarrel with that sillygirl anymore le. Sorry baby! i know now u should be angry with me or hate me bah? hate me for being jealousy so high right? :) nvm, as long as baby i love you to the extend le no matter wad i will still be there for you de. and no matter wad difficulties problem you are facing in, i will always staying by your side and face toghether with you.

♥

Baby you are the lamp inside my heart, you light up my day.

♥ 

16 more days to our fifth month! i'm excited! cause i can finally bring baby to USS le! <3 and also can see baby being happy again le. :D

I Knows is My Fault For Holding You Until So Tight.

Helloooo Peoples, i'm back to blog again le (Y) did u guys miss me? HAHAHA.. let's start talking about my life about this few day bah. recently keep on quarrel with babygirl with a small tings. i know i may be holding u very tight. is because that i scared to lose you and is for ur own good. i didn't purposely or mean it to quarrel with you de babygirl! Sorry.. Is my fault who holding u until so tight! I may be not a good boyfriend to you but i will try my best to hold on to this r/s and never ever want to leave you. I promised you i will changed to a perfect and nice guy babygirl want. i will also trying to change my attitude towards you le. i know bbyy dun like people to attitude her de. Sorry baby! ): ytd pei babygirl to nigel sis bday. was enjoying with babygirl during there althought we have not enough sleep and rest. i just wanna pei babygirl for a long period. hopefully babygirl will be happy when i pei her go there and not to let her thinks that i hen Mafan. shall end here le. BYES!~

Baby, 10more days to our anniversary ah! (L) ♥ I'm looking forward to that day! Hope that day baby will be happy! ILOVEYOU. ♥